Friday, May 14, 2010

Why Boobquake failed: God's relationship with mankind is passive aggressive and abusive

Kazem Sedighi apparently got wind that people around the world were laughing at his ridiculous claims that immodestly dressed women cause Earthquakes. Apparently we misunderstood what he really meant, so during this Friday's prayer sermon, he offered further explanation:

"Some ask why (more) earthquakes and storms don't occur in the Western world, which suffers from the slime of homosexuality, the slime of promiscuity and has plunged up to the neck" in immorality, he said.

"Who says they don't occur? Storms take place in the U.S. and other parts of the world. We don't say committing sin is the entire reason but it's one of the reasons," he said.

But, he said, "sometimes, God tests a nation. ... (God says) if believers sin, We slap them because We love them and give them calamity in order to stop their bad deeds."

"And those who have provoked God's wrath, He allows them (to commit sins) so that they go to the bottom of hell," Sedighi said.

Oh, well, in that case, that makes perfect sense! I totally understand now. God's relationship with humans is really like a relationship with an irrational, passive aggressive, emotional abusive person.

Me: *puts on tank top*
God: ...
Me: What's wrong?
God: Nothing.
Me: Are you sure? Do you not like this shirt?
God: It's nothing.
Me: Okay *prepares to go out*
God: Ahem.
Me: What?
God: You should know what.
Me: I'm expected to read your mind? You know only you can do that.
God: Didn't you read that book I gave you?
Me: Yeah, but it didn't say anything about tank tops...
God: Whatever.
Me: Okay, well, I'm going out now.

And then three months later God slashes your tires, kills your cat, breaks your entire CD collection, and sends you to the bottom of hell.

Seriously God, if you created humans, you should really know how they learn. Punishing people months after they perform the naughty deed does not produce negative reinforcement. Our behavior isn't going to improve if you conveniently make earthquakes and tornadoes and floods appear to be caused by natural means, irrespective of the morals of that area. Do you really want us to behave, or do you just take sadistic glee in watching the US sink into the ocean?

1 comment:

  1. northierthanthou.comJanuary 19, 2014 at 2:01 AM

    This is a peak into the past.It's always fascinating to see what personality traits believers project onto their deities.

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