Tuesday, March 16, 2010

America's sex prudishness now extended to dogs

What the hell.
"Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered... Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side."
Yes folks, now we can't even see our pet's buttholes. Heaven forbid we acknowledge that an animal poops, especially when we have to clean up after it. No, instead hang a gaudy attention-attracting sign on it's butt, so your virgin eyes don't have to be sullied. Seriously, what the hell? What happens when these things want to sit down? Or poop?!

Though I have to admit, this one made me chuckle a bit:
Danger! Toxic waste exit! Do not approach without pooper scooper!


  1. Is it okay that I'm deeply disturbed by the blue ribbon one?

    The flower, the scent tree, and the bio-hazard marker, sure. But a blue ribbon? What?

    Oh God, why did I think further about why you would mark a dog's anus with a blue ribbon.

    I'm going to go huff solvent until I forget my mind immediately linked that to bestiality.

  2. Those would last about three seconds with our dogs. (They wouldn't need them though, being rough collies.)

    I wish someone made those to go over the mouths of people whose verbal existence was as offensive as dog poop.

  3. Thanks Scott, I didn't go there until you mentioned it. Now we ALL have to go huff solvent. I've never associated Oregon with prudish squeamishness before, more often with blazing hippies. Which may also have contributed to the birth of this product.

  4. Personally, as I just noted, I’m more inclined to believe that the young woman behind this is just marketing something she thought was original and humorous, as opposed to being genuinely offended at the sight of animals’ rears.

    Still, though, this is pretty … silly.

  5. Actually, I dig these. I had a friend whose roomate had a pug. A flatulent pug. Whenever he turned his backside to me, I looked away lest I catch a glimpse of the damned thing opening up 'in the act'. I'd have so stuck one on that smelly little guy's tail. Even better if it was an air freshener.

    However, given cats' propensity to show use their butts close up, it would be more useful on a cat.

  6. For crying out loud. Every time I thought I'd seen it all....

  7. I suspect Joé McKen is right and it's a joke. Some people in this town are pretty out there.

    While of course no dog has ever "felt left in the dirt" for such a reason, anyone who actually would buy these due to taking their intended purpose seriously, is surely betraying an unhealthy fixation.

    Personally I worry more about the biting end.

  8. Hehe, yeah it if was an air freshner then it might be useful.

    But it won't take long for this to look like a dag on sheep's bum.

  9. how do they stay on? if these little doodads are butt plugs, i'm gonna git me one!

  10. I think they just draw more attention to the dog's butthole rather than less. What an incredibly stupid idea.

  11. That looks like it would be uncomfortable for the dogs, and inconvenient when the dog actually needs to make use of the blocked orifice.

    I wonder how the things attach to the dog - it looks like Photoshop job to me to be perfectly honest. My guess is that this is somebody's idea of a joke, although I don't find it terribly funny...

  12. Anyone who looks at the actual Etsy page will see they’re hung from the tail-base with string.

  13. But... if I hang this from my dogs butt, how will all the other dogs/people see his Neuticles??? (http://www.neuticles.com/)

  14. Anyone else a little bit turned on?

    No . . .

    Er . . . me neither . . .

  15. "Anyone who looks at the actual Etsy page will see they’re hung from the tail-base with string."

    That's pretty dangerous. The string could become twisted and cut off circulation to the rest of the tail, or cut into the skin itself. I also imagine that constant, mild abrasion to the anogenital area could cause irritation.

    Overall, this is just another negligent pet product for the owner's aesthetic pleasure.

  16. This is going to be a real blow to canine etiquette--All that wasted effort by doggy Mums teaching their puppies to be polite:
    "Now don't be rude dear, go and sniff Mr and Mrs Rusty's Butts."
    Some people just don't know what good manners are.

  17. Might actually be useful if they were scented.  

  18. Well, in the old days there was a law in Toronto, Canada (today a liberals' paradise) calling for a fine for anyone who let their horses copulate in public. No horsing around, so to speak.