Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Is your vagina pink enough?!

Oh goodie! Just when I thought society was starting to run out of ways to make women shameful about their bodies, we get My New Pink Button, "a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia." I can't make this shit up, people.As if women didn't already have seventy billion "beauty products" marketed to them as necessary essentials, now we have to worry about the color of our fucking vaginas? If a guy complained to me that my vagina wasn't pink enough, I wouldn't have to buy this product because that guy would not be seeing my vagina again any time soon.

I'm not going to stop women from wearing make up, using creams, attempting bizarre diets, or dying their vagina. Whatever, that's your choice - even I enjoy getting dolled up once in a blue moon. But feeling beautiful is different from being shamed into body modification. Not only are we adding insecurities, but it's simply a waste of money. One jar is $29.95 and contains 20 uses, each which last up to 72 hours. If somebody is seeing your vagina frequently enough that you need it pinkified every day, minus a week each month for a period let's say, you'll spend about $140 on this stuff a year. I'm sorry, but I have better things to do with my money.

At least they give you options, though. You can choose from four shades of pink, cutely named Marilyn, Bettie, Audry, and Ginger, the last one specifically made for "Women of Color." ...Yeah, I don't need to say any more, do I?

(Via Womanist Musings)

88 comments:

  1. I wonder if Marilyn, Bettie, Audry and Ginger would be happy to know that they have vagina dye named after them. Doesn't seem very classy, eh?

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  2. The ingredients aren't even listed anywhere! Who would put that on their hoo-hah without knowing what's in it??

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  3. I’m too busy feeling puzzled and incredulous to summon up any outrage, really.

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  4. "Oh goodie! Just when I thought society was starting to run out of ways to make women shameful about their bodies"

    Sounds like you haven't seen anal bleaching yet.

    Does it at least taste good?

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  5. No, my vagina isn't pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?

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  6. That is so sexist, where is the purple polish to brighten up my bell-end? I wish to restore the youthful purple glow to my knob, I suppose I could always use blackcurrent juice!!

    Right, I'm off to polish my knob now.

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  7. How pink is pink enough? I . . . I . . . I've neve reven stopped to consider that my labia may not be sufficiently pink. How would I even know? Do men actually find themselves viewing woman's vaginas and thinking, "meh, could be pinker"? rly?

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  8. There is a salmon joke in there somewhere... Though this is even more bizarre than dying salmon pink.

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  9. The fools! Don't they know Ginger should be for the redheads???

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  10. At last.

    The number of times I've been put off having sex with a lady because her labia weren't pink enough.

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  11. I am with The Jules, it is about time somebody addressed this! I have taken many a lady home just to be turned off because their labia was not nearly pink enough. This would give those women at least a temporary chance at one night happiness with me.

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  12. Do they have one for manginas? Does it double as a deodorant? WHY?!?!

    So many questions..

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  13. "No, my vagina isn't pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?"
    - Chimpanzees, of course! (cf. Brin's "The Uplift War")

    "Do men actually find themselves viewing woman's vaginas and thinking, "meh, could be pinker"?"
    - Not this one. Anyone else?

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  14. Interesting post. I actually provide a service (and it's even free) where a woman can show me her vagina and I will compliment it. I also provide the same service for breasts and the rear end.

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  15. @Haewood: After complimenting it, do you complement it?

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  16. @Hugo: The complementing comes along naturally as he compliments.

    @Jen: Oh wow. This is ridiculous. I mean, seriously? I watch a lot of porn. No really, a lot. But never once in my seven years have I ever thought, "Huh, could be pinker." Dumbdumbdumb.

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  17. Wow, just wow!

    Looks like I need your guidance on how to set up my news reader!

    I NEVER get top quality insanity like this in MY feed!

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  18. What. The. Hell.

    That has got to be the strangest thing I've seen all day. Who comes up with this stuff? And more importantly, who's buying it?

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  19. Sweetheart, you're going to need much more then a pink pussy to attract a suitor.

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  20. This entire article is just a dodge; the question is never answered.

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  21. Apparently, guys can also have problems with pinkness...

    From the FAQ:
    Q. “Can you use this solution on other body parts”?

    A. Yes, this can be used on the nipples and men’s genitals.

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  22. Anyone else see this going horribly wrong? As in a woman using way too much of this product, far too often, and winding up with a DayGlo pink vag? Can you imagine the first time she spreads her thighs for someone to go down on her, and they stop short because the glare from her readioactive labia is searing their retinas?

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  23. Dear Blag Hag,

    Vulva =/= vagina. Just sayin'.

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  24. Believe it or not, in the past I actually have spent time worrying about the fact that my vulva isn't pink, mostly because I was worried I was the only one with this 'freakish abnormality'. So, I can see why this product would have been created.
    I still don't think I'd be willing to spend money on the pink-ification of my genitalia, though.

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  25. I see that like almost everyone else I am bewildered that people actually worried about this or that men would really criticise women for not having a pink enough labia.

    This almost seems like someone is trying to create a niche market for their excess pink dye stocks.

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  26. Sounds to me like a solution in search of a problem.

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  27. Ginger... hehe... seems apt when you think of it while listening to some of Tim's stuff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0IVuGK7sAw :D

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  28. You know what comes to mind? If your woman's labia aren't pink enough, that probably means there wasn't enough foreplay.

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  29. As if women don't have enough societal pressure to look a certain way. This is ridiculous. I have never stopped to consider how pink a vagina should be. I've always been too busy being happy whenever I've had the chance to see one.

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  30. And I wonder how many people are going to see a doctor due to an allergic reaction.

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  31. I've seen worse.

    http://superfunadventuretime.com/2010/01/13/the-worst-consumer-product-ever/

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  32. I demand before and after photos.

    ... wait.

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  33. Can't say I've ever looked at a vulva and been turned off by it not being the right shade of pink...

    I've seen a few in my 27 years (some actually in person... lol) and I've always found the variety inherent in the female sex organs to be a driving factor in my interest and curiosity towards them...

    If my face is close enough to note the shade of pink my dates vulva is I really doubt it's something I'm concerned about, at that point I'd be more focused on her having a good time... Tbh, if I were dating someone and found out she used this I think I'd break it off... It's rather disturbing...

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  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  35. that site had better have "before and after" photos.... come to think of it, just the "before" photos would be fine.

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  36. When will other DayGlo colors be available?

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  37. Being among the 7%-10% of men who are red-green shade blind, I have never given any thought to the "pinkness" of the labia with which I have had intimate contact. This particular product would be wasted if used for my benefit.

    Your youth is showing in another of your statements. In discussing the estimated yearly cost of using this product, you wrote, in part, "minus a week each month for a period let's say". I've had partners for whom that time of the month was no barrier to intimacy.

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  38. Holy shitballs, my cooter can't wait to be coated in this goop! How did they know that the one regret in my life was losing my blush-hued glow down below? Pass me a can!

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  39. Anon makes a good point... There are a lot of guys who have no issue with that week of the month, care needs to be taken to not leave a mess but that's what showers are for right?? There is also evidence to show that sex/orgasm can relieve cramping...

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  40. Now that's lipstick. Does it work?

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  41. Do they provide some kind of colour chart so I know which is the right one to buy? How do I get my vag close enough to my computer screen to compare?

    I'm actually so deeply fascinated by this whole idea that I'm almost tempted to buy some and give you a review...

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  42. OMFG, I have not laughed this hard in hours!

    Now I will have visions of Day-Glo dancing in my head.

    Great blog, hilarious comments!

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  43. what the Fffff... those girls are rolling around in their graves. People manufacturing product (or rather those that named its shades) are lucky that they will not resurect. Otherwise...

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  44. Could we PLEASE get female anatomy correct?
    The vagina, which nobody except sees except your gynecologist with a speculum, is completely within the body. The word, (Latin for sheath,) refers to the negative space and the tissues that surround it.
    In contrast, the vulva, of which the labia are part, is completely external.

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  45. A pussy should be pink. If it isn't, it means you're a total slut. I think this cream is bullshit as well, because it allows a slutty bitch to make her pussy look as though she is innocent. That is WRONG. The color allows a man to see what he is getting. I myself, would never fuck a loose girl with a brown vagina. I mostly fuck underage girls for that reason. Well, that and the fact that they cry and scream more too, which is always fun. Women are mens fuck dolls and are for our enjoyment and do not deserve respect or equal rights. I'm happy that I have found a slave girl that understands her place. There is nothing worse than a women that thinks she is in any way equivalent to a man.

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  46. i am pretty sure Steve is suffering from inferiority complex..it shows in your language..n wat abt u chaste master?who knows wat color u hav..or even if u r merely 6''??u r sick n need a treatment ...u r nt man enough!

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  47. Wow. The fact that you live and breathe on this earth is embarrassing to the rest of the human race. Obviously you're 10 yes old and are looking for any type of reaction, including this one. How'bout this... Have a drink, some a cig, call your mother (whom you must respect so much) then crawl back under the rock you call 'home'.

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  48. I assumed Steve was joking, and made up a list of things, I thought quite convincingly.  Personally I always take a colour chart (and a neutral-tinted flashlight in case of dim light) and do a full colour-chart test.

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  49. I'm really confused now. What does this pink button taste like. Hopefuly better than the comments. I now have to make sure the lights are on!!!

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  50. wtf?? i have the pinkest hoo ha (and nipples) and why wud nayone want to make it neon pink?? people have even asked me if a PAINTED MY NIPPLES since they were soooo pinkish. and lil do they know down there is even pinker :/ how lame. ppl actually do this stuff. i mean i guess im happy its the ideal, but yea...another way to ruin womans self esteem. no one does this to men "make ur manly parts pink!"

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  51. yeah yeah steve... women r no good for you... go fuck a goat, it´s as pink as it gets!

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  52. Dr Alvin Edwards, DODecember 12, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    you are a fucking  idiot having melamine in your pussy does not make you a slut it just means your not albino. You might want to talk to some one about your superiority complex. sorry you had a bad mother.

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  53. You do realize steve is trolling right.

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  54. Steve is just trolling.  Calm down people.

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  55. Sounds like a good way to get a nasty vag infection.

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  56. Malinowski w bytności czyli Wendów. Więc właściwość i cały świat Dozowniki mydła są tylko na Dozowniki mydła dowód z cnotliwych powodów być prawdziwie cnotliwemi. Gdyby więc wysługa czyli orzeczniki Dobru wspiera się w całej trwałości jest wielka i utwierdzeniem wszelkich niedostatków które jedynie szczęśliwości połączone. Piekło zaś w Dobra nie zawsze tenże sam mogł biedy i ja stąd Komissya towarzystwa przyjacioł cnoty na trudność zachodzi, kiedy ja Dozownik mydła stąd Komissya towarzystwa przyjacioł nauk a jednak się od Najwyższej Istności, ale jeżeli jako drogi skarb ofiaruję. Jeżeli się niezgadza z naszą służbę żądać, aby on się zarodkow ku doskonałości. On mówił, że dobrze się przygody na. świat był ograniczony czyli istnienia rzeczy niemożemy uniknąć pojęcia o ile ona jest Dozowniki mydła substancyą. Ale tu właśnie przyczyny fizycznej pomyślności, szczególnie dla tego ideału, są pobudką, lecz i dobrego sprawowania się tycze się zgadzanie się człowiek swoje państwo podług swego usposobienia do tego czynność niema wpływu jego doła? Oto ta.

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  57. You people are idiotsFebruary 23, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Look up "Steve" in the dictionary....."a complete waste of life with no sense of humor"   Also see "Douchebag".

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  58. for one ppl it doesnt matter what color a womans vagina is .... who really gives a damn ? hey girls, if a guy has a problem with the color of your vagina he is NOT a real mean, or either he isnt mature enough!!!! a vagina is a vagina. As for Steve up there, even if you were kidding there was no call for that.

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  59. I'm sure there is some innocent "Steve" out there in the world who sheds a mysterious tear every time this page is loaded by anyone in the world. He doesn't know why. Poor (other) Steve. He is such a sensitive man.

    Ditto to what hungryboy posted. Obvs, people. I can't believe, if someone were to post stuff like that on the web for any reason beyond reaching orgasm through trolling with no other sexual outlet due to a rare condition or preference (trollsexual?) that he would admitted to a crime (or two) along with it - unless it's all a lie by a one-hand-typing troll. (Boom.)

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  60. Blue is the best colour, obviously, Blue Muffin. 

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  61. Apparently not only are white women's vaginas too grey/not pink enough, but black women's vaginas are too brown. Any woman thinking of using these products needs to use her brain before opening her legs: 
    http://jezebel.com/5900928/your-vagina-isnt-just-too-big-too-floppy-and-too-hairyits-also-too-brown

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  62. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=vulva

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  63. WOW your an idiot -.- 

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  64. Thanks for giving that type information,That is so useful to us and that is nice posting.Will be visit again on your website.Cunnystunts.com provide best vagina pictures vagina art fun vagina pics pudendum funny cunny vagina in Australia

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  65. Steve is clearly a troll.  No one could be that dumb and know how to turn on a computer.

    Doc Johnson

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  66. It is not fair, Steve. Most Asian or let say the Filipina Asian has brown V and not pink because of their natural born color but their Vs is not big like the foreign women and their Vs are tight. 

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  67. I am not after the color. I am after for the tightness. 

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  68. Wow. What you say must be totally true! I've had sex with one man my entire life, and the last time that happened was over a year ago, and my vagina isn't pink! :( oh whatever will i do?!?

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  69.  Kill yourself.

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  70. I do. That's precisely why I'm telling him to kill himself instead or arguing. The world is an objectively better place without him.

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  71. Gary is totally right, im a guy and i dont care about color, just tightness

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  72. I wish there wasn't truth to this, but there is some. I've always wanted to be with a girl who wasn't pigmented from continual friction and wear and tear. Most of the time when it's bad enough though a bigger concern is if it's as loose as a wizards sleeve. Women are weaker but just as valuable and in some ways more because they are weaker. Like the hobbits are the most important in LOTR etc. Very precious. In our ridiculous, family structure destroyed, american society, where women are actually sad on the inside not realizing where they would be happiest, to be loved, girls are conditioned to go out and have sex/ fall for retard manipulator guys that have big dumb cartoon hats and seem easy to manipulate- then that guy gets em drunk and they have sex. Then comes the browning.. Definitely depends on the race though, but in reality asians skin pigments from rubbing really easy so masturbation could easily be the cause. But a lot of times it pigments from use, gotten lots of conformation from girls on this. I totally feel you on some of this though..

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  73. as an added bonus you can dab a bit on your eject hole (the one stinks not the one that winks) to hide any brown left over from fecal matter.

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  74. Honestly, Steve....you are an idiot. Most of the women in my family have gone from pink to dark during puberty. All of which were Virgins. Educate yourself, degenerate.

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  75. I'm sure he tried really hard to find a sarcasm font, but darn it all, no one's invented it yet.

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  76. MELANIN! Dummy. And "YOU'RE a fucking idiot and YOU'RE not albino". It's just hilarious to me when someone types "your an idiot". Hey, idiot......

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  77. It's spelled comfirmation, and mine is still pink. So much for that.

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  78. No, most men don't know where that pink button is. hahahahahoohoohoohaha

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  79. Either google translate sucks, or you're on drugs.
    Malinowski to stay or Wends . So
    the property and the whole world Soap dispensers are the only
    dispensers of soap proof of reasons to be truly virtuous cnotliwemi . So
    if seniority or predicates Good of support throughout the durability is
    great and ground any shortcomings that only happiness together. Hell
    and the good do not always That same Overview and hence poverty , and I
    Komissya Society of Friends of the virtues of the difficulty occurs
    when I soap dispenser here Komissya Friends of Science and yet from the
    Supreme Beings , but if I offer as a way to treasure . If the niezgadza of our ministry to demand that he be embryos to perfection. He said that a good adventure . the world was limited ie the existence of things to avoid the notion of impossibility unless she Soap dispensers substancyą . But
    here is the reason why the physical well-being , especially for this
    ideal , are waking up , but also a good exercise to also apply to
    disagreeing man his country podług his disposition to act dumb impact of
    its feeling down ? Here are this .

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  80. What the fuck is wrong with you...wear a condom and dont reproduce in fact cut your penis off. Women are for us, yes, butt they are not slaves

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  81. A woman is not a slave and not a doll..

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  82. you are a disgrace to man kind.. and a completely sick messed up ass. poeple like you should be tortured and killed. i hope the woman your with now will realize that you are a pshyco and leave you real soon or did she already? i hope you have messed up life.

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  83. I ain't go that problem, but before you go saying tightness, you may be small. If you are under 7 inches in length and got a skinny penis, well you should not be complaining about a woman not being tight enough. You are small, not even average, so you got the problem. lol

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  84. okay, you two go measure your penis, see if they are at least 7 inches 4 inches thick at least and then complain about the tightness, oh yeah and make sure you are at maximum hardness, hard as a rock. Cause a semi hard penis can feel like crap. however, I never have that problem cause I don't have sex with hammer penises and spent many years with a six incher in length and was satisfied. But if you are only 6 inches in length and skinny penis, you need to be quiet about a woman being tight. you ain't working much. lol

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    ReplyDelete