Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Creation Museum Part 6

Now that Adam and Eve ate the fruit, the world's about to go to crap. We rounded the corner and found this pleasant scene:A very kids-friendly museum! Of course, it's alright to scare little kids if it teaches them to follow the Bible - think hell houses. This was also in a dark scary room, but the flash from my camera kind of ruins that feeling. Anyway, this is supposed to illustrate their shame of being naked, and how they need to make animal sacrifices to God to make him happy.Please join me in facepalming: "But because humans are not related to animals." So, let's get cracking on the human sacrifices then with that logic! And as a side note, does God love nudists because they have no shame? ...Moving on.
We meet Adam and Eve again, but now things are different. They have their sons, Caine and Abel, they have to produce their own food, Adam has put on a few pounds (sin = beer belly?), and Eve is barefoot and pregnant like she belongs (somehow I missed a photo of that, oh well). This seems tame enough, but things start getting really crazy here with a new theme: Before Adam's Sin, and After (you really should click for a larger image and read these things, they're terrible).
Plants aren't alive? The hell? I guess we need to kick Botany out of Biology! What do those silly scientists know about what's alive, anyway? I guess animals not dying for the short period of time they were in the Garden of Eden isn't too preposterous. Well, immortality is silly, but it's not like the entire ecosystem would be out of whack or overpopulated because of a lack of deaths. But this is the sign that killed me:
Wut.

...

They're saying a T-Rex was a vegetarian until sin. I don't think I need to explain why this makes no fucking sense. Why the hell did some dinosaurs have big freaking pointy teeth? So they could munch up lettuce better? I don't think so. Either God did a shitty job at designing creatures and arbitrarily gave some useless teeth, or he already knew the fall was going to happen so he had some animals ready to fill the carnivore niche. In which case, did Adam and Eve really have free will if God already knew what was going to happen because it was part of his plan? Did God really just want an excuse to make bacon? EDIT: Apparently I missed a vital part of the exhibit: Velociraptors prior to the fall had MOLARS that through "natural selection" (not evolution, since that doesn't exist) turned into canine teeth. What the HELL. NO.
Om nom nom. Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.

Of course, I'm probably thinking about this too much. I'm sure there's a simple explanation to all this. Oh...maybe that the Creation Museum is full of shit and denying everything science or even common sense has ever told us! That's right, I forgot.
Yeah, I'm not even going to touch this one. It's just here to show you how outstandingly stupid this room was.

Of course, once you think it can never get worse, it does. I stood in front of this sign for a good long time, probably with a look of confusion and rage on my face (click for larger):
God logic for why Biblical incest is okay but modern incest isn't hurts my brain:
1. "All humans are related. So whenever someone gets married, they marry their relative." You know, this is true with evolution too! But I think all reasonable people can see a difference between marrying your sister or cousin and marrying someone thousands of years removed from you.
2. Abraham was a cool guy and married his half sister, so that makes it okay! Well okay for then, then God changed his mind and now you can't marry close relatives. So, are they actually saying that some of God's laws were applicable for ancient times but not for modern times? I guess there's hope for gay and women's rights! Right?
3. We have inbreeding depression today because Adam's sin caused mutations. Ugh, I hate when they bring in genetics to explain their crazy ideas.
4. Adam was genetically perfect, so inbreeding back then didn't matter because there we less mutations. Man, at the mutation rate necessary to go from "genetically perfect" (whatever that means) to our current level of diversity in just 6,000 years, I'm surprised we don't all have superpowers or extra limbs sprouting out of our foreheads.
5. Irrelevant comment about sex outside of marriage.
6. Lie about marriage being defined by God. You have no right to criticize the Bible if you don't believe it. Wait...what? Well isn't that convenient. Only the people who don't have anything to criticize are the ones that can criticize it!

...

We all felt like soon we'd have no brain cells left, so we moved on.

The next room has a absolutely terrifying animatronic Methuselah. He was creepier then the little girl we first met, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when his eyes moved and looked right at me. I didn't take a photo because I was afraid my camera would disintegrate from the pure evil emanating from this thing. They had a sign next to Methuselah with all the ages of various famous people from the Bible, and I think they were trying to show that people lived shorter and shorter lives since sin was introduced. I'm not quite sure how sin "builds up" over generations (I think they meant mutations), but I'm not sure about most of the stuff in this museum.

(Thanks to Vanessa and Josh for extra photos)

Part1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

27 comments:

  1. Didn't you know venom in animals was used to soften fruit so it could be ate. I have actually heard this argument before.

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  2. that was all prefall of course.

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  3. You have no right to criticize the Bible if you don't believe it.

    By that logic... Shouldn't all exhibits in the museum that criticize science be removed?

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  4. That one sign reminded me of how absolutely terrified religious people seem to be of death. I'm not sure whether this fear is what brings them to embrace religion or if religion causes people to develop this fear, though I suspect both can and do happen.

    (Hi, by the way! I'm new here, but this blog is pretty awesome, so I think I'll stick around.)

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  5. If you'd like a pic of knocked-up Eve to add to this post, I've got a pretty good one.

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  6. Ill just make it simple, al admit to all religious people Im going to Hell and avoid any other further discussion. Their numbers are diminishing anyway... At least they got that right on the museum... (if you can really call it that).

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  7. Holy Ignorant Science Batman!

    @Mike: I kinda fear death too, but not in the way wherein I'm ready to go ahead and believe obvious baloney.

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  8. By the way, I thought we were done after part 3. Jen Lucas here gave us an extra horror trilogy - I wonder if there's any more to come?

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  9. Oh, I'm still no where near done. Working on a post about the flood, then the dreaded post about evolution, then odds and ends, and then a post about the conference. I'm half doing this for myself so I don't forget all of this crazy stuff

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  10. Yeah, who would want to forget this sort of insanity?

    And don't you mean "evilution?"

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  11. About the dinosaurs with sharp teeth:

    I didn't notice it until someone else pointed it out, but all of the depictions of dinosaurs before the fall have molars. No shit. They have velociraptors with molars.

    I think the idea is that since they accept "microevolution" (presumabley because it's too damn obvious to ignore), like finches with beaks adapted to their diet, the carnivores would adapt after the fall and replace their molars with canines.

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  12. Are you shitting me. That makes me even sadder.

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  13. I don't think they're being necessarily incoherent when it comes to marrying your sister. Basically, God is the Supreme Fascist, and what he says is law. He was for sibling marriage then he was against it (flip-flopper!) QED
    The problem here isn't incest per se, it's the idea of morality being decided by divine authority.
    " But I think all reasonable people can see a difference between marrying your sister or cousin and married someone thousands of years removed from you."
    Marrying your sister perhaps. The horror of cousin marriage seems a peculiar recent phenomenon. Darwin, Einstein, HG Wells and Voltaire all married their cousins.

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  14. @Ewan - not to mention FDR.

    @Jen & Strinka - I dare the Creation Museum to find one recovered skeleton with all molars. That they didn't put there.

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  15. Cousin marriage squicks me out for two reasons: One, I've evolved to have a negative reaction towards incest, so I can't help it. Two, I've stared at too many pedigrees in all of my genetics classes.

    But when I step back and think logically about it, I honestly don't care who people marry or screw.

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  16. @Strinka - I have a close up of the raptor like animal (too big to be a deinonychus and too small to be a utah raptor) eating from the tree. I will check it out when I get home to see if it has sharp teeth or not.

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  17. Uh oh, there's dissent among the religious ranks re: Adam's beer belly. Thank you, Google Books, for leading me to "We're On A Mission From God: The Generation X Guide To John Paul II, The Catholic Church, and The REAL Meaning of Life" and this illuminating passage--

    "After Adam and Eve sinned, the first thing Adam said to God was 'I hid because I was naked.' How did he suddenly know he was naked? Before, he was 'naked and not ashamed'. Did he suddenly just 'notice'? Was his body different? Did he suddenly develop cellulite or a beer belly? No. Adam's body didn't change."

    Seems the museum can't even properly illustrate its OWN ideas...

    (I'm new here, too! I really enjoy your writing.)

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  18. I love that Adam's belly has actually been discussed somewhere! Of course, the Creation Museum dislikes Catholics as much as scientists, so I'm sure they would disagree with that inaccurate report.

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  19. Probably reaction to cousin marriage is probably cultural, considering how widespread it is in other cultures. Immediate family incest, everyone finds that gross (Oedipus Rex and all that), though I suppose one could apply similar argument to relations between even closer relatives.
    It's disgusting though.

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  20. Veritas
    Well, close. FDR and Eleanor were actually fifth cousins, something few people would have a problem with.

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  21. The raptor creature eating from the tree has its mouth closed :(

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  22. The raptor with the Creepy Little Girl, way at the beginning of the trek, has molars.... If you pull a closeup of Jen's picture, you can just barely make it out. (At the very least, you can see that it ~doesn't~ have sharp pointy fangs.)

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  23. Ooo -- sin made Eve's hair curly!

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  24. Speaking about Mathusalem... I remember a very interesting book I read ages ago called "Mathematicians are not serious people", with a story of a mathematician that amused himself calculating the ages of the characters of the Old Testament. He put at the end the fact that Mathusalem had supposedly died at the same time of the Flood. The mathematician said he wondered if Noah has forgotten by accident great, great, great grandfather outside the Ark.

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  25. About the picture of Adam farming with the children: Check out what he's growing! Where did those cruciferous vegetables come from? Those cultivars don't exist in the wild. They're the products of thousands of years of artificial selection. But these would have had to have been developed within the lifetimes of those kids!

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  26. Ok, at this point I'm honestly confused. Aside from the whole strangeness with the need to kill stuff to somehow appease God's vengeance, why does it matter if what is being killed is related to humans or not? And if not being related to humans makes it not work then why can such things provide temporary respite? And moreover, why are most sacrifices in the Bible explicitly not sin offerings? And what's more, the sin offerings are generally for specific sins being made by those specific people at that time, not some vague set of offerings to atone for humanity as a whole.

    The lack of consistency is amazing.

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  27. I love his 69 shirt lol. Calc II ftw.

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