Saturday, July 25, 2009

Galapagos Tortoise Gets His Freak On

...That title is what happens when I'm listening to dance music in order to stay alert. Anyway.

90 year old Galapagos Tortoise, Lonesome George, may soon be a daddy.
"No wonder they were amazed - a team of scientists have been doggedly coaxing the sullen creature to mate since 1993, when they introduced two female tortoises of a different subspecies into his pen. Until now, George, the last known Pinta Island tortoise had shown little interest in his companions."
There...there are too many possible jokes to make about this! Here, choose your favorite:

a) But with the advent of Pfizer's new Tortoise Viagra, there's now hope for George.

b) Unfortunately for the species, Lonesome George has finally come out as being homosexual. His main keeper isn't surprised.

c) 90 year old virgin? But who could resist a face like this?
"But at age 90, George, now said to be in his sexual prime, was finally spurred into action.

...Galapagos Tortoises, among the species Charles Darwin observed to formulate his theory of evolution in the 19th century, were hunted for their meat by sailors and fishermen to the point of extinction, while their habitat has been eaten away by goats introduced from the mainland."
It always saddens me when people do something so extraordinarily stupid, and then we have to desperately try and fix it a hundred years later. Of course, that seems to be a prevalent pattern in human history. Good luck, George!

This is post 7 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.


  1. ... Sexual prime at 90?

    Damn. Turtles are awesome.

  2. I hope someone has a tape of bad 70s porn music to play when he's very slowly getting his freak on. In addition, I wish I could photoshop a 'stache on that bad boy. OOOOHH YEAHHH, here comes Lonesome George, that bad tortoise motherfucker here to rock some lucky turtle's shell....

  3. I recently read a story by Poe in which the protagonist killed lots of turtles, seals, etc. in the Galopagos area, and I was sad. But we still are doing it, with fish. It's harder to *see* them disappear because it's easy to think "oh, the fish just went somewhere else in the ocean." But then again we're doing it to the rainforest and Boreal forests too...

    and what, having to stay alert only 3 hours in? you've got a long day ahead ;)

  4. Tortoise*

    Bah. Maybe I should start hitting the caffeine to wake my ass up. Fail before noon? Unspeakable!*

    *Because I don't wake up before noon often.

  5. Especially not on a Saturday, eh? I start work at 10 local time, Friday-Tuesday, every week. Blech.

    But if you're gonna try and stick around for the whole ride, I guess caffeine might be an idea, Andre.

  6. Got some along with my Perfect Tuna Sandwich.

    And, especially not Saturdays. Today was a fluke, since I went to bed at 4:00 and woke up just in time for this to start.

    I believe I may be far more delirious than our host toward the end.

  7. I don't know if I'll be able to stay up the whole run. I had been pondering it, but last night was hell to sleep through. I might push it to the limit, anyway, just as if I was a time traveller.

  8. Yeah. I'm going to damn well try. I'm going to be saving my best keep-awake stuff for last; showers, exercise, and FPSes.

    I just hope it will finally un-fix my sleep schedule.

  9. FPSes, eh? Hmm, I'll prolly be firing up some games tonight, but I don't have a decent console for fps gaming. I have to do it all on my PC. I prefer windowed games for that, to be honest, and not too many FPS you can play like that, that work well.

  10. I play CS:S, but definitely not going to have time for a round today =(

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  12. I can't play console FPSes. Controllers just don't work.

    I might play some MGS3, though.

    And: CS:S? you are a braver person than I.

  13. "Got some along with my Perfect Tuna Sandwich." speaking of hunting species to extinction, I hope thats not Bluefin Tuna! : )

  14. The Galapagos Islands are the most incredible living museum of evolutionary changes, with a huge variety of exotic species not seen anywhere else.