Monday, May 25, 2009

Tylenol 3 + Benzonatate = Crazy Iron Chef Sleep Walking

I guess the meds they put me on are extra special. I'm feeling pretty good today (only mild stuffiness and medium coughing now!) but I haven't slept well in days. Why? I've had crazy pseudo-sleep walking experiences that keep waking me up. I say pseudo-sleep walking because I'm sort of aware of what I'm doing, enough that I can remember it, but I'm like a slave to my bizarre dreams. And what have all my bizarre dreams been about?

Iron Chef.

This is what I get for watching almost nothing but the Food Network since Wednesday.

I'll basically dream about cooking some sort of recipe, then I find myself sitting up in my bed with my mind telling me to move around the room to finish cooking things. I've actually found myself molding my sheets into shapes, moving around to sit at my desk, and walking to the bathroom. The part that makes this hilarious and scary to me is that I'm conscious enough to know it's ridiculous, but I feel like I can't fight it. To give you an idea of how surreal this is, this is almost verbatim what has been going through my head:

Dream Jen: Ok you need to compare the two dishes, are they finished cooking?
Me: Two dishes? I don't see food
Dream Jen: Come on, the cuban is to your left and the hamburger is to your right.
Me: *looks at bundled up sheets to her left and right* Oh, of course.
Dream Jen: Well you better finish cooking them
Me: But..but what am I supposed to do? I don't have cooking supplies here
Dream Jen: Yes you do! Use your grill!
Me: *goes over and sits by desk and stares at it* This grill isn't working right... I think it's just a desk
Dream Jen: No, it IS a grill
Me: ..But....
Dream Jen: Why haven't you chosen the best dish yet? What are you doing?
Me: I'm so confused =(
Dream Jen: Well it's time for dessert. Go get dessert.
Me: *goes into the bathroom, where dessert is apparently held* Why am I in the bathroom? I don't need to pee.
Dream Jen: The theme is religious cookies. Grab the ones with the crosses on them.
Me: Oh, ok *grabs some toilet paper* I think I'm going to go back to bed now...
Dream Jen: No! You can't sleep until you finish your challenge! Pick the best dish!
Me: But this is just my bed sheet. Gahhh =(

Then I force myself to flatten out my entrées/sheets, sleep for two more hours, then repeat. This has happened the last two nights. Yeah, I think my mind is a little fucked up right now.

I shouldn't be too surprised, since I used to do this as a little kid. In the middle of the night I would walk into my parents bedroom and ask for random stuff, they would just say "Go back to sleep, Jennifer," I'd turn back to my room and sleep, and not remember a thing about it. My mom was always afraid I was going to sleepwalk and tumble down the stairs or something. I still occasionally do the weird sitting up in bed while still asleep thing (which I didn't realize was sleep walking for a while), mostly when I'm stressed. It was never an issue until I got my first roommate my freshman year. She saw me doing it one night and she thought I was possessed or something, ahahaha.

But yeah, usually sitting up isn't followed by a cooking competition. At least no one was sleeping next to me, or I may have tried to tenderize them.


  1. That's actually incredibly hilarious. I think I had a few issues with sleep walking from Tylenol 3 when I had to use it. Codine is a mightily crazy way to spend the evening.

  2. One time, when I was ranting and insane from the pain of abscessed teeth, I just stared at my wavemeter for what I later worked out to be three hours, wondering why my laser's wavelength was slowly drifting higher then abruptly dropping. I realized what was up when I finally realized that I was laying horizontally on a padded surface, and I was, in fact, not in my lab, but rather in my room, staring at the alarm clock, thinking it to be the wavemeter.

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  4. Then I force myself to flatten out my entrées/sheets, sleep for two more hours, then repeat. This has happened the last two nights. Yeah, I think my mind is a little fucked up right now.